Comfort, Pain, Love
by JuuChanStar
Summary: This is a companion piece to my story 'Comfort' WARNING: NON-CON though nothing graphic, the rating is for the idea of it
1. Chapter 1

**This is a sort of companion piece to 'Comfort' I might make this a couple of chapters, not sure yet. All I ask is no flames and no one kill me please.  
I've set this 20 years before the Quest in The Hobbit. Based more off of movie-cannon. So Fili is 62 and Kili is 57.  
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He fought. He fought to stay on his feet, to not let the darkness overwhelm him when a fist connected with his face; he fought against the hands that tore at his clothes, and the fingers groping his body. He fought to escape the pressure behind him, tried to twist away, tried to keep the screams in. Most of all he fought to keep his heart and soul intact as the larger and stronger dwarf behind him violated his body brutally.

Fili tried again to escape the hands holding him gasping at the slap he received for his efforts. He could taste blood in his mouth and the pain of his face mingled with the searing pain of his lower half as his attacker finally yanked free and dropped him to the ground. The young dwarf grunted as a foot connected with his ribs and curled into a ball trying to protect himself. He received a few more kicks before the older dwarf stomped away fading out of hearing range. After several long minutes Fili allowed himself to open his eyes. He was along in the unused forge that he had jut been terribly violated in. Relief and pain hit him together and Fili curled up on the floor and sobbed.

He did not know how much time had passed when he heard heavy footsteps nearing his location. Fearing his attacker had returned Fili desperately tried to press against the wall behind him curling up even tighter. He started shaking and drew his knees to his chest, very aware that he was still bare.

"Fili?!" It took a brief second for the voice to sink into his mind, when it did he relaxed some. Thorin had come to find him; he was safe; his uncle would help. The footsteps sounded closer and finally sounded in the forge where he hid. Fili heard the gasp that told him Thorin had found him, within seconds his uncle was crouched in front of him tilting his head up.

"Who did this to you?" Thorin's voice was hard with anger but held concern. Fili tried to not cry out when Thorin lifted him from the ground and eased him into his clothes, seeming to know that all he wanted at that exact moment was to cover up his body, though his injuries protested the movements.

"Drof. He surprised me, hit me. I tried to fight him uncle, I promise I did." He whispered brokenly and let Thorin gather him close.

"I know; it is clear from the marks on your face and body. I know of Drof, I will make sure he is punished. He will not touch you ever again." Thorin pressed his face into the blonde hair and held his nephew until he stopped shaking and Fili pulled back to wipe at his face.

"Do you want me to help you home?" Fili shook his head.

"No, I can manage." He waited until Thorin nodded and then took off as fast as he could, his ribs and bottom screaming with every movement. He needed Kili; he needed to feel the arms of his love around him. He choked on a sob as the ugly thought of Kili turning him away came, unwanted, to his mind. Finally he was safe in his home, only able to lean against the door and stare at his feet. His whole body responded when Kili's voice washed over him.

"Fili?"

And Kili was there, holding him, caring for him, loving him as Fili clung to his brother and bawled out his torment. Kili did not turn him away; the younger dwarf mended his wounds and then held him warm and safe in their bed. Hands ran over him reassuringly, whispers that everything would be ok, that he was there and would never leave.

"I'm here Fili, I have you. I love you, I will always be here."

After Thorin checked on him and Fili knew that his attacker was either dead or would be dead soon, he allowed himself to finally relax. He curled into Kili's arms and drifted into an exhausted fitful sleep, and each time he awoke screaming Kili was there to soothe him back to sleep.

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**Please review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**This came out a little darker than I had originally intended. If you missed the updated authors note in Chapter 1 here it is again. - ****I've set this 20 years before the Quest in The Hobbit. Based more off of movie-cannon. So Fili is 62 and Kili is 57. Every one else's age is irrelevant because they are all adults and my focus is not on their age but rather how young Fili and Kili are for this. This is Thorin's reaction. Anyways, on to the chapter. Enjoy! **

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Thorin roared in rage throwing a heavy forging hammer across his sitting room not caring where it went or what it hit. The image of Fili bruised, naked, and bleeding was burned into his mind. He had thrown the offender, Drof, into a cell so he could officially decree his death in the morning. Now though he was breaking down, the emotions washing over him consuming his mind. He had failed his nephew; he had failed to keep Fili safe within the place they called home. He roared again flinging something else before he dropped to his knees and resorted to slamming his hands down on the stone floor as hard as he could, over and over.

Thorin jumped when strong hands closed around his, lifting his head he found Dwalin crouched in front of him. His long time friend, and sometimes lover, had been behind him when he found Fili. To give the young heir some dignity he had backed off and stayed out of sight, though he had followed Thorin in his anger to find Drof after Fili has fled to his rooms.

"Do not injure yourself over this. Fili would not want you to." The burley dwarf grumbled as he guided Thorin into a sitting position, he ignored the glisten of tears on the dwarf price's cheeks and instead examined the strong hands until he was satisfied there was no lasting damage. Thorin spoke while he did this.

"I failed him Dwalin. I am supposed to protect him, both of them." Dwalin shook his head.

"You did not fail either of them. You could not have known Drof's thoughts, do not blame your self for what you could not control." Finished checking Thorin's hands he sat back on his heels, for a moment Dwalin studied his friend noting the emotions playing in his eyes and knew them for what they were.

"I know. I know why you are so hurt over this." Dwalin let Thorin pull away, his blue eyes wide as he stood and took an involuntary step back. He did not accuse Dwalin of lying, they did not lie to one another, not about anything so important, and Thorin could read his face just as well. The dwarf warrior stood, not moving, and waited.

"How? I told no one." Thorin's voice was raspy with the fear of secrets long buried. He wanted to bolt from the room, to run from the past that still managed to haunt him. Thorin wanted to scream, it was his secret! He did not want to acknowledge it!

"I have known you since we were mere babes, I know you. I saw the bruises you passed off as nothing. Not to mention you would not let any one; even Frerin, Dis, or me; touch you for weeks. I could see it written on your face and in your stance, I knew then what happened to you and I know that it still affects you. What I do not know is who."

Thorin flinched and turned pacing a few steps away, his shoulders rigid. Dwalin watched him and hoped that finally there could be some closure on it, an answer to a question over a century old.

"I will not think less of you, I never have." Thorin's shoulders did not loose their rigid set as he finally answered; his voice low and tinged with shame.

"My grandfather's closest advisor…" Dwalin instantly knew who Thorin was talking about and could not decide if he wanted to thank or curse Aulë that the dwarf was dead. He settled for speaking instead.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of."

"I let him take something important from me; I let him make a mark upon my honor." Dwalin snapped at this and stormed over to turn Thorin around and clutched his shoulders.

"You did not! You were not even twenty and he was well over a hundred and fifty! He had no right to touch you in any way!" Thorin scowled.

"I am a Durin prince; I should not have let myself be overpowered." Dwalin sighed and shook him lightly, hoping maybe to knock some sense into the think skull, though he doubted it would work.

"And they say I am thick. You were no more than a child Thorin, he was an adult. Why did you not tell any one, why did you suffer in silence?" Dwalin was not surprised when Thorin pulled away and folded his arms, effectively closing himself off.

"I do not wish to speak of this any longer, that was well over a hundred years ago. My concern is for Fili, I have to tell the people that Drof committed the heinous crime of rape. I will not tell them who, Fili does not need that hurt as well." He paused body sagging. "He should not have ever had to endure the same hurt I did…he is so young; my only consolation is that he has Kili and I know Kili will not let him suffer." It was quiet for several minutes and Thorin realized that there was nothing else to do but answer the looming question from his friend.

"I feared being thought of as weak, as spoiled. That no longer matters, it is in the past, I have moved on." The lie felt ridiculous even to him, Thorin knew that Dwalin would not believe him.

"Nay, you have not. You have buried it, not faced it. You tense at times when we are together, it is brief but I notice because I know you. And you close off if some one not close to you touches you, however innocent. You dream as well, and I do not blame you, that kind of violation at Fili's age is bad enough, but for some one still considered to be in their childhood…you are strong to have not cracked." Dwalin watched the dwarf prince and was glad when Thorin dropped his arms to his sides.

"If you wish to continue to pull the past out of me then I would rather be in bed and comfortable, it has been a hard day." All he wanted was to get in his bed and hide from the world in privacy before dawn required him to be a prince again, he would welcome Dwalin to be there and knew with all his heart that the dwarf warrior would not chastise or tease him in any way.

That is exactly what he did, retreating to his bedroom Thorin stripped to a tunic and his breeches before sliding into the bed and laying on his side. His fear of Dwalin rejecting the idea, of rejecting him, collapsed in relief when the other man slid into the bed behind him and the familiar muscled arm closed around his waist. Thorin did not tense at the action or when Dwalin pulled him back against his chest.

"I am not a child Dwalin." There was no heat behind the words and Dwalin answered them with a snort.

"Of that I am well aware, either talk or sleep. Either way I am here."

He did not talk, Thorin could not bring himself to lay bare the pain and the hurt that had marred his soul for so long, he would in time be able to divulge everything to his long time friend. For now he settled into the warmth curling around his body and let the exhaustion of the day pull him into the dark of sleep.

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**Yes I'm terribly mean to poor Thorin. I am planning one more chapter after this one, Fili/Kili comfort. I am still working on 'How to shock a king' so be on the look out for another chapter to that soon, maybe tomorrow if i get time to type it up since i have a test to study for this weekend. I will do my best though. Please review and let me know your thoughts! No flames though, those I will happily feed to my shredder. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Here is what i believe to be the last installment of this. Enjoy. Not exactly what i was trying for but the boys would not listen to me so this is what came out. Dwarves, too darn stubborn for their own good. **

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_**Fili & Kili **_

It had been six months since the attack, six months since he had been brutally violated. His attacker was dead, ordered to death by his uncle before the people of Ered Luin, his involvement was not known. The crime of rape was punishable by death as per their laws without dragging the victim through the proceedings. In that time Kili had remained by Fili's side, through the nightmares and the entirely involuntary flinches, the healing of his heavily bruised cracked ribs that needed careful tending for weeks, and the reaction of their mother when she found out. Dis had been gone to a nearby village for trading and when she returned to find her oldest son bruised and battered she had been crushed. The look on her face and in her eyes as Thorin told her what happened was something Fili would never forget. He had willingly let his mother wrap him in her arms and cried with her. Fili also chose to not think too hard on the look in his uncle's eyes; that was something he did not want to acknowledge at the moment.

Kili, his one, his love…was so patient with him and yet Fili feared that his brother felt differently about him now, sure they had been intimate since, but not as before, there was nothing more than hands. So used to small touches and fierce passion Fili felt bereft. And now, six months later Fili was afraid that Kili did not want him, and that thought broke his heart. So when he could take it no longer Fili cornered his brother in their home one night.

"Why will you not touch me any more?" Kili was in the middle of removing his boots after returning from the forges; where Fili still refused to go; and stopped mid pull of his second boot giving Fili a wide eyed look.

"What?" The boot completely unlaced slid from his foot and thumped onto the floor where it was forgotten. Fili shifted his resolve wavering, what if Kili truly thought him dirty and that was why they never went beyond hands in the dark now.

"You do not touch me any more. You let _me _touch _you,_ but you stopped touching me a few days after the attack. Is it…am I…do you think me dirty? Have you stopped loving me and would rather leave our bed and have your own home?" A strangled noise came from the dark haired dwarf and he was there in front of Fili before the blonde had even registered the movement and it took everything he had to not flinch.

"You. Are. Not. Dirty." Kili paused between each word, driving them out with force. "I would never think that of you, and I most certainly do not want to leave our bed or our home. I will never stop loving you, even if you were to turn me away, I would never stop."

"Then why do you not touch me anymore." Fili watched as Kili seemed to sag.

"I do not want to frighten you Fili, I know the nightmares have lessened but I see you flinch when some one moves too fast or brushes against you. I do not want to hurt you; I would rather die than hurt you." Fili made a frustrated sound.

"I know that you would not hurt me deliberately! I flinch because I can not control it and those people are usually outside our family. I am not frightened of you Kili, I am frightened that you will never touch me again and I am going to snap. No I am not completely over what happened, that will take time, but I have wanted you to touch me and to take me for a couple of months now. You are not _him _I know that, I know the difference, please, all I want is for you to touch me like you used too." Fili could not contain the shudder when Kili's hands finally touched him, grasped his face and stroked his jaw with soft fingers before sliding down his neck and brushed his collar bone.

"I am sorry Fili; I have wanted nothing more than to touch you, my hands itch with wanting you. I was only trying to give you time, I did not want to push you for anything." Fili slumped against his brother and smacked his hip earning a startled yelp.

"We failed to communicate…that stops now. I want you to take me Kili, right now, in our bed. I need to know that you still want to touch my body." Fili groaned into the fierce kiss that Kili initiated with such force that his toes curled at the spark of need shooting through his body. Without hesitation he let Kili walk him backwards into their room pausing at random points to unfasten and shed clothing. When the younger dwarf pushed him back onto their bed Fili was bare and Kili's only remaining clothing was his breeches which were easily removed.

Neither could contain the moan of their bodies pressing together for the first time in months. Kili began as Fili's neck and worked down his body kissing and nipping lightly; he stopped to pay special attention to each pebbled nipple and then slid farther down drawing his tongue over ribs and rolling the skin of Fili's navel in his teeth. Through all this he would pause and make sure that Fili was not panicking, and his confidence grew when Fili arched his hips and his hardened length bobbed, oh yes he was enjoying this.

Trying to convey his desire to touch his brother, Kili let his hands roam as he ghosted his breath up Fili's length before taking the head into his mouth and gave it a few light sucks. Fili moaned and dug his hands into Kili's hair tugging sharply just as he knew Kili liked, he was rewarded with a harder suck and one hand cupped the heavy sacks between his thighs and rolled. Fili keened low in his throat and bucked his hips groaning when he slid farther into the brunette's warm mouth. He smelled when their bottle of oil was opened, the soothing scent of mountain pines and mint wafted to his nose.

"Tell me if you want me to stop." Kili murmured before he slid an oil slicked finger into his entrance, Fili's only response was a harder tug to his hair and Kili chuckled as he added a second finger, he bit dark love bites on the inside of Fili's thighs as he twisted his fingers to find the bundle of nerves enjoying the hoarse shout when he found it.

"Kili please! I have waited months, do not tease me!" Fili desperately rolled his hips and tugged Kili up to catch him in a searing kiss. He whined when the fingers slid out leaving him feeling empty but soon Kili was sliding in and he felt full and complete for the first time in months. He did not wait for Kili to finish and rocked his hips up loving the high pitched noise that fell from his brother's mouth. This move undid the younger dwarf and soon they were rocking together hard, mouths connecting, breaking, and then re-connecting in kisses that were more teeth than lips. They found their completion together as was usual then slumped against the bed panting.

"Fili, are you alright?" Kili leaned up on his elbows and looked down at the blonde, hair fanned out over the bed, sweaty and flushed and looking thoroughly pleased.

"I am more than alright Kili, I feel better than I have in months. Please, do not coddle me any more. If I do not want you to do something I will tell you, I can not handle you pulling away from me again." Kili nodded as he pulled from Fili's body then rolled and pulled him close pressing a kiss to sweaty cheeks.

"I apologize for that, I will do my very best to remind you every day how much you mean to me and how much I love you and will always want you. You are my one, always and forever."

_**Thorin & Dwalin**_

Thorin had not dreamed for months, and Dwalin learned just how violent those dreams could be. He had woken to Thorin thrashing about on the bed pleading against someone that was only in his mind. Without thinking Dwalin had reached out to touch the thrashing dwarf and received a blow to the face for his efforts. Working through the searing pain and was he figured was a split eyebrow the dwarf warrior tried again and this time managed to wake his friend. Thorin sat up with a ragged cry, his long dark hair flying around and obscuring his face as he tried to pull from the dream completely.

Dwalin had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as he watched Thorin shake and clench the bed sheets at his hips. The dwarf prince had tensed and wrenched away during in an intimate moment earlier in the evening and now from the words he had been muttering in Khuzdul in his sleep, a few things clicked together for Dwalin.

"He did not touch you just once…" His statement hit home and Thorin's body tensed before he gave a short shake of his head.

"How long?" He sat up and gingerly touched at his eyebrow, yep it was definitely split if the blood on his finger tips was any indication. Ah well, he could worry about that later.

"From the time he started to touch me till he died when Smaug invaded, ten years." Dwalin choked and fisted the sheets. Ten years the prince had suffered! If he could go back and strangle the adviser that had dared to touch the prince, but he could not change the past, he could only help Thorin change the present.

"You were a child, you should have told some one. I know you are bloody prince but your father and grandfather would have defended you." Thorin turned and looked down when he noticed Dwalin's face.

"Sorry about that, I will get a cloth." Dwalin snorted and pulled Thorin across the bed and against his bare chest, laying down he tucked Thorin into him. He knew the lack of response meant that Thorin was not going to talk about the abuse, and he knew better than to push it.

"Forget the cloth, go back to sleep. My face will still be there in the morning, you can clean it then." Dwalin laughed when Thorin muttered something crude in Khuzdul.

"Aye, we can do that too if you would like."

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**According to the appendix in 'Return Of The King' Thorin is only 24 when Erebor was attacked by Smaug...so you can do the math yourselves, I couldn't bring myself to type it out. Please review! **


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